The narrator, Felix Hoenikker, Dr. Asa Breed, Newton "Newt" Hoenikker
Reserved for Guest Editor
Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John.
If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity; and I would climb to the top of Mount McCabe and lie down on my back with my history for a pillow; and I would take from the ground some of the blue-white poison that makes statues of men; and I would make a statue of myself, lying on my back, grinning horribly, and thumbing my nose at You Know Who.